Where does that saying come from, eh? I’d be willing to bet that not a few judges are anything but sober for much of the time (wait for the fallout from that statement!). Only joshing folks (😬). A while back I decided that I wanted to cut down on my alcohol intake (and before you jump to all the wrong conclusions, I’ve never been an excessive drinker, OK? Well, apart from just that once when I was 16 and I drove home smashed from a party on my Lambretta Li150, which went like a bomb that night. Quite how I got home in one piece I’ll never know). No, it’s just that, it took me a long time to accept this, but the better half has always told me that lager consumption can add inches to the waistline, especially as one enters the more sedate years of one’s life. I couldn’t get my head around how a liquid could make you fatter, but eventually I saw the light (if not the light ale). See this web page.

I wouldn’t say I drank a lot, maybe a beer or two per day on average during the summer months, but it’s surprising how it can have an effect on which hole you use to buckle up the belt on your trousers (you guys on the other side of the pond, I mean ‘pants’; only on this side of the pond your ‘pants’ aren’t your trousers, they’re your keks. Right, that’s sorted that out. To continue…). To be honest, I was never a lager person in the UK, preferring what we’d call ‘real ale,’ as in the lukewarm, almost flat, often locally brewed ales that always had names like ‘The Old Farmer’s Pubes” or “Bishop’s Fetish,” you know what I mean if you’re from the UK, don’t you? Thought so.

I know, some people reading this who think they know about these things will tell you that indeed you can get British type ales in Greece, and not just lager, but I’m here to tell you that this only usually applies to the more touristy places, and I don’t live in one of those. I mean, when I was out the other evening and fancied something different yet totally refreshing, I asked Kosta’s daughter in one of our regular bars for a Strongbow. She had no idea what that was (I could order it anywhere back on Rhodes). In the end I had to Google Translate the word for cider and she got it immediately. In fact I ended up with a very acceptable Greek cider, which I thoroughly enjoyed, that was until I glanced at the receipt, when I nearly fainted when seeing the price of the thing. Think I’ll stick to Fix, it’s safer.

Anyway, I digress as usual. What I wanted to talk about was the recent proliferation of alcohol free beers, which once were anathema owing to their simply awful taste. I made the decision about a year ago now to only stock alcohol free beers in the house, so as to be able to enjoy a chilled one without worrying about the waistline. In fact, you may be surprised to learn that alcohol free beer has a lot of health benefits, honest! Look at this page for some of the evidence if you like. Why it’s virtually a wholesome health drink!

Now, I’m old enough to remember when the first Alcohol free beer came on the market, and it was called Barbican. It first became available in 1983, and there was this TV ad where the pilots on a passenger aircraft were taken ill and one of the passengers rushed to the cockpit (back in those days you could actually open the door from the passenger cabin side, weird or what?) and saved the day. The payoff line at the end of the ad was “Good job I was drinking Barbican.” And yes, folks, it IS Sean Bean in that ad!! The only problem with Barbican was, it tasted simply awful. Everyone tried it once, then went back to drinking the regular stuff. No one wants to drink something that tastes like it ought to be administered at a hospital for pleasure.

Which brings me finally to what I want to talk about. Are you still there? Boy, you’re tenacious. I’ve tried a number of alcohol free beers here in Greece over the past year or two, and for a while I simply bought the Lidl’s own brand one, called Perlenbacher, primarily because it was cheap. Unfortunately, the taste isn’t great, despite what they’ll try and tell you. I was drinking it for months before I thought, dammit, I’ll push the boat out and try something else. Actually, TBH, I first tested out the Fix Anev (‘Anev‘ in Greek simply means ‘without’) at a waterside restaurant on Patmos in May 2019…

Maybe it was partially due to the fact that it was a magical night all round, but I really, really enjoyed that drink. So, fast forward to a couple of months ago, and low and behold, Lidl were offering the six-pack of Fix Anev in cans at a brilliant discount that brought it in line expense-wise with their very own Perlenbacher. I haven’t looked back since. Most weeks the local branch of Lidl has one or other alcohol free beers on offer, so that has resulted in my trying a few different brands. The Amstel one is truly awful, hate it. The Fix was my absolute favourite until a couple of weeks ago, when instead of Fix being on offer, the Alfa version was, simply called Alfa Horis (pronounced ‘horeess‘ and – guess what – ‘horis‘ [Χωρίς] is yet another Greek word for ‘without.’ Imaginative, eh?).

My verdict? These days open our fridge and you’ll always see 50% Fix and 50% Alfa alcohol free beers, and you know what folks? They both taste so good you’d probably not even know they were a health drink rather than a calorie-packer! What’s really great too, is the fact that either one or the other is usually on offer, making it on a par price-wise with Perlenbacher, which, in all honesty, tends to remind me of Barbican.

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